PROJECT GO HOME SKINNY

So....yeah....I've been majorly screwing up weight wise. I'm usually 95-105lbs at 5'1 inches tall (I have to starve to maintain this weight) I absolutely adore that weight range and it's well worth the mantaince to fit in all my teeny clothes!. The last I weighed in, I was at 114lbs!!!!!!!!!!! I got there buy being a piggy and the weighthas only gone up due to massive binges, so I've yet to return to the scale out of fear of seeing those horrid triple digits!!!. I plan on some major elimination and restriction of foods all week and I'll then step on the scale next Monday! I'm crossing my fingers I'll be 110lbs or lighter. It's Sunday night March 5th and my last binge!!! I'm full, bloated, and disgusted with myself. I must lose at least 15lbs to return home (CA) skinny for the beach. I feel completely defeated but not hopeless. I will lose this damn chub! I've done it before and I'll do it again!

To start tomorrow off "cleaner", I prepared some laxative senna hot tea to enjoy tonight and enjoy the after effects even more in the morning! I'm actually having a double dose to help with this weeks "build up". I'm twisted and never will pass up a good BM. I'll allow myself coffee and a bit of milk in the morning tomorrow. Like I said before, this week is all about elimination and restriction. I'm eliminating all "crap food"! No sugar, white flours, processed anything.....basically just fruits and veggies with a load of water!! WATER WATER WATER and of cousrse close the day out with Senna tea!! I have been really thinking about it and I want to do a juice fast or Master cleanse...MC would be better considering I can afford it and I don't have a juicer. We shall see when I get there!?  As for exercise tomorrow the gym is out of the question. I think?? Mom still doesn't have her car so....  I have to walk to Walmart to pick up Taylor's Money Gram and that will be a good little calorie burner. I suppose it all depends on the gym/car situation but a workout will be happening!! I'm seeing how they are imperative!

Once I get the Money from Walmart I need to buy a big bottle of water to drink throughout the day and my fresh fruits and veggies, they'll I'll be consuming. I'm going to hold off eating as long as possible. Hopefully into the evening! If I stay busy it's not too hard.

I have been acting like a hermitt again....hiding away in the house largely due to how I feel and look, FAT! Anyways, I always feel better when I get out and keep busy. The Money Gram will allow me to get out a bit tomorrow and my mind body and soul is in desperate need!!!!!!!!

I was supposed to have my individual therapy and mood disorders group tomorrow afternoon but this too is all dependent on the car situation....

Ewe! I'm still smoking ciggs! I know I know! It's beyond gross I'm just so damn bored and have it stuck in my head it's a hunger killer!! The goal is to quit that as well this month! Blahhhh!