Broke even

Sorry for being MIA lately :/ I was off binging and isolating. Luckily I broke even and didn't gain any weight. Still 113lbs. I just found out I have 2 weeks to lose weight before returning home to CA!!! I would like to get down to 100lbs but IDK if losing 13lbs in 2 weeks is realistic. I'm going to do my very best however! Yesterday went Fabulous! I only drank a bit of a Red Bull!! I'm not exactly sure how many cals but I don't believe it was more then 100! I didn't workout as much as I would have liked but I managed to get 20 min. on the elliptical in, a Pilate's class, and a Hatha yoga class in! It was all a bit too easy but really relaxing :) I did wake up feeling a little lighter and my tummy bloat went down a bit! Today I'm going back to the gym to do more cardio and classes!! I'm just going to do the same as yesterday and consume as little cals possible! Okay, the count down begins. I have some serious weight to lose and only 12 days/two weeks to lose it!! I'm kinda excited to see how much I can lose :/ it's that sick and twisted excited. My gym membership runs out on the 31st, so I'm without the gym the 1st-3nd :( I hate working out at home but I'll have to make do.

I also went to thearapy yesterday. I really really didn't want to go but was glad when I did. I always come out of it better then I went in. Anyways, we discussed me moving back and I lied my ass off saying I was much better...blah blah blah...She ate it up. She gives me the best tips to calm my anxiety and understand myself. I'll miss our sessions. Same with my group thearapy sessions. When I return home I have no health insurance! IDK what the hell I'm going to do for thearapy and meds!!

I'll check back in later doll's!

Feelin Peachy!

I did fab today! 1hour of Vinyasa yoga, 15 min. on the elliptical,  drink a liter of water, and only ate salad (organic) and raw almonds! I went to my group therapy and presented a level from our work book. I passed :) I also just just had a nice time getting out and conversing with other human beings lol! Weighing in less today made the day a bit more exciting!! I can't wait to weigh in tomorrow! I'm going to have the same kind of agenda for tomorrow....I'm going to hit another 1 hour Vinyasa class, then do about an hour of cardio on the machines, and end the workout with a nice Kyiro yoga class!! I will also basically eat the same...Maybe I'll take a steam and sauna!!??

I hope all you luv's are well!
xo

FUCK FUCK FUCK!!! I binged after I wrote about my fantastic day....What the hell is wrong with me???!!

In a binge food coma :(

I have been basically binging for the last 2 days with no working out :( I feel horrid and bloated!!!!!! 3/15 and 3/16=failed!! It started yesterday around 5pm and ended today around 4pm, so I guess It wasn't a true two days!? I feel I have undone all my hard work :/ I'm just beyond angry with myself!! I refuse to sit in myself pity, so I'm going to drink an energy drink to get myself out of this food coma state and make myself go walk around the Academy ( a hard hilly race walk)! A mini recovery from the binging and tomorrow I'll hit the gym and eat with perfection! I need to drink lax tea tonight!!! I'll jump right back on track! I can't let this set me back and I WONT!
UPDATE
Alright, I admit defeat....I totally screwed up....the binge continued and I never went walking...today was a total failure! I have undone this weeks hard work. I've got to move on however! Tomorrow I must "reinvent" myself and shake this all off! I will end the night with a double dose of senna tea to help "move things along" for tomorrow!

I have no more room for error...I will be going back home to cali in 4-6 weeks!! I have just enough time to lose a massive chunk of weight! If I play my cards right I will be going back SKINNY! NO MORE SCREW UPS!!!!!! I don't want to regret this time frame I have to lose weight in a month when I arrive home! I must take advantage of this NOW!

Recovering from the cookie binge

Yup I screwed up yesterday with a damn cookie binge...10-12 oreos!!!! I was doing so well. I don't know how I could have let it happen!! My little brother came home with groceries, cookies being one of them! I resisted while my mom and brother ate them. I felt so in control, powerful, and above them for not giving into the temptation and then before I know it, I'm stuffing them down my throat!! I wasn't even hungry and oreos are not my fav!! WHY!!????? My water consumption yesterday was poor as well :( I probably had 30-40oz!

 I keep saying it but I'M BACK ON TRACK TODAY!! I can't fail again...I just don't have enough time before returning home to Cali! I drank senna tea last night so that helped get some of the nasty waste out...now I wish I would have done a double dose of it!! I've already had a good BM this morning though :) To make up for last night's cookie binge I'm going to have to do extra cardio today at the gym. I'm going to skip the classes and head straight for the cardio machines! I'll get a good caffeine fix and burn my ass off!!!!! As for food, salad only and then of course a liter of water!! A dose of seena tea will be my night cap!

I'm dreading weighing in tomorrow...I don't feel I've made much progress or lost :( At least I'll know where I'm at.
UPDATE
I just hit my Mom's gold mine! Her pain killers! She has been hiding them from me and I just so happened to find them!!! I know, I'm horrid but if you knew the women you would understand! Anyways, I took a handful and ate three 5mg pills. I should be feelin pretty good here soon! The pills will help keep the hunger at bay but may make it hard to go to the gym....I'm thinking today will be all about starving...IDK just yet...???
UPDATE
I have been enjoying my opiate numb out and chain smoking like an old Hollywood actress. I don't see a workout in today's future : / I haven't consumed a single calorie and it's almost 5pm!!! Very pleased indeed!! Sense I'm not going to be working out I will just nibble on yesterday's Whole Foods salad. The bad news is I haven't been drinking WATER!! I don't know why this is hard for me!? I just can't seem to get a liter in daily!!

PROJECT GO HOME SKINNY DAY 2=FAILED :(

How could I seriously "f" up on my freakin 2nd day!!!!!!!!!! I binged beyond belief on melon, green Chile stew, tortillas, and soda pop :( I was and still am  a bloated mess....To top it all off I drank hardly any water and drank none of my senna tea :( Oh and didn't workout one bit :( ONE MAJOR FAIL!!!!!

I'm picking myself up and dusting off! I'm not giving up and I will return to my teeny body!!! Back to day one!

Mom dropped her baggie of pills and I jacked em! I didn't sleep a wink last night and instead enjoyed the numbing effects of the pain pills and youtube videos. I'm hoping they keep hunger at bay even though it's only 7:30am and there wearing off :/ Anyways, I'm giving my tummy a break and not eating at all today!! I will drink at least a liter of water and take my seena laxative tea tonight. Like I said "picking myself up and dusting off"!!